#GivingTuesday 2020

Rose came to Hope Alliance with her Mom as Rose had experienced physical, sexual and mental abuse at school.

It all started when Rose was 15.  She was attending school and she had nice big group of friends.  Then she met “Justin”, who was a senior.  Rose immediately liked Justin and she was thrilled when he asked her to the movies.

They started dating and everything was great for the first month.  A few weeks later, one of Rose’s male friends, who was leaving the school, was saying good bye to Rose and gave her a long hug.  Justin didn’t like it and he made a big deal about it.  Rose explained that they had known each other since middle school and that he was leaving town.  Justin calmed down and things went back to normal.  Rose noticed he seemed to watch her more after this incident.

Justin would blow up for no reason and get mad at her for any little detail.  She got sick of arguing with him and after a while, she would just agree with him. He would say he was sorry for acting up, that he just wanted their relationship to be good and that he loved her very much.  Sometimes he could be so nice, but the apologies didn’t stop the name calling.

One time she attended a party with him and he kept pushing her to have beer.  She had the beer as he wanted but since she wasn’t used to drinking she started to feel disoriented and drunk.  He took advantage of that and assaulted her sexually.  Rose didn’t know anything about consent, so she didn’t see the incident as sexual assault.  Justin changed his behavior towards her after the incident.  He made her feel guilty like it had been her fault the assault happened.  He used the event to blackmail her and get money from her.  She panicked and gave in.  He started dictating what she could wear and if he didn’t like what she was wearing, she was to bring one of the “pre-approved” outfits so she would change at school.  The name calling and putting her down continued.

Justin told some of his buddies about the incident at the party.  He made it sound like she had initiated the encounter.
Rumors started spreading and after a few days, most of the school knew about it.  She was labeled a slut by a lot of her friends who she had known since middle school.  Her self-esteem kept dropping lower and lower as the bullying and name calling at school continued, this time not only coming from one person but from everybody.

Rose thought she was going crazy.  She started getting panic attacks and lost most of her friends.  She was in a very sad, lonely place where she felt like she didn’t have a friend or someone to talk to.  Her parents eventually realized something very serious was going on as she was always depressed and didn’t want to come out of her room.

Rose and her mom came to Hope Alliance looking for help and met with a counselor.  The counselor educated Rose on ways to cope with anxiety and made her understand that she wasn’t “crazy”, like people at school made her feel.  Just talking about the incident and having the counselor believe her and assure her that it wasn’t her fault made Rose’s anxiety decrease.

Rose was able to start over again and her self-esteem increased as she didn’t carry the guilt as she did before.  She was able to start functioning like a normal teenager.  Eventually she was able to go to college early.  Currently she is attending college classes and making new friends.

Events in Rose’s life brought her to Hope Alliance feeling down and hopeless.  Thanks to her parents, Hope Alliance counselor and her new found peers, she has been able to move on and thrive.

“Maria” was provided a SA accompaniment about one month earlier because a stranger pushed her into her apartment and sexually assaulted her. Once she felt ready, she called the hotline where her immediate crisis needs were addressed.  She was scheduled an intake for non-residential services at that time. When she arrived for her intake, she was shaking uncontrollably and could not stop crying. I instantly took her to a private office with low lighting to help bring her back down. During that time we were able to truly discuss her fears and how she has been functioning lately. We also were able to talk about an activity in her life that she enjoyed, which was making beautiful flower arrangements. Talking about a positive activity in her life brought a smile to her face and allowed her to calm down. Right before she left her intake, she was no longer shaking and crying, but instead was smiling and said “I feel like I can breathe again.” Since this intake, she has been seeing a counselor and staff have pulled together to find resources to help her break her lease and move into a new apartment so she can feel safe in her own home again.

"Clare's" mother called the hotline to see if we could offer her 15 year old daughter any services and discuss some fears and anxiety that she was experiencing. Her 15 year old came to stay with her for the first time in years for summer vacation. During this vacation, she found out that her daughter had been sexually assaulted 3 times by 3 different perpetrators. She decided she wanted to bring her daughter in for counseling. During the intake, the mother and daughter both disclosed how physically abusive the daughter’s father is. He had full custody of her, and she did not want to return to his home, and her time with her mother was supposed to end in a couple of days. Immediately, our legal advocate was available to talk the mother through her options for gaining full custody. I was able to stay with the daughter and talk about her sexual assaults and the guilt she holds for them. Due to quick response by main office staff, her mother was able to file for full custody. She has been able to stay here in Texas with her mother and has been seeing a Hope Alliance counselor ever since to help her process the trauma she has experienced.

"Sophia" called hotline stating that she was ready to leave her abusive husband. She had already been trying to work towards this goal before coming in for an intake appointment. On the day of her intake, she had an emergency protective order hearing happening that would also establish custody. Her husband had taken her mentally-handicapped son and she had not seen him in two weeks. She was terrified about going to court and we spent the intake discussing what might happen in court and talked about ways she could try to remain calm and composed. In a matter of an hour, we were able to have an available legal advocate accompany her to court. Her lawyer was making her feel scared and confused, and our legal advocate was able to address those fears. She stated that Jim was the best person to enter her life recently. She stated that “he made me feel like I was a real person and continued to make sure everyone treated me well.” She said she doesn’t think she could have survived the day in court without the assistance of Hope Alliance staff.